Tuesday, February 12, 2013

"I Must"

                I’ve lead a somewhat lost life throughout college. I applied and got accepted to three different universities, each for a different major. I was bored in my intro classes as a freshman and didn’t know if psychology was the right choice for me. My second year consisted of a lot of ‘exploring’ around, taking classes in different fields of study, but I never found anything better so I stuck with psych. My junior year I enjoyed it more, but it still wasn’t completely right for me either. Now, in my senior year, although it still isn’t a passion of mine, I think I’ve found more liking for my major. I like people and human interaction. Personalities, social contact between peoples, and behaviors are all interesting to me. I haven’t found a true passion, but I’ve discovered a liking and different applications for my newly attained skills and knowledge. Not really having a set plan is scary. I’m graduating in a couple of short months and I don’t know what’s next for me. Do I continue school? Do I try to get experience? In what field? Do I try different jobs just to see if one feels right? Do I travel to Europe to find myself?
                Well, with a lot of uncertainty in my life right now I turn to God. I ask Him all of these questions and (as I hate to admit) I kind of wait for a sign. For something to call to me or for it all to just make sense. I wish I was at a point that I knew a few possibilities that could be for me so that I could just jump in and take the risk to finding out what my purpose is. Unfortunately, although I kind of eliminated and pinpointed some things, I just don’t have a small selection to choose from. I don’t know what I’m meant to do; I just find it really hard to pull out a career plan from my interests. It’s funny because my favorite quote is about doing what you love and I am not sure of what I love.

“There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread the roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of the night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in the assent, if you meet this solemn with a strong, simple, “I must”, then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even in its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse.”
-          Letters to a Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke

                Recently, I’ve interviewed a few people about their careers and they said something that struck me. They, at times, were unsure too. They have changed careers. It wasn’t just a straight path to where they are today. But also, they might not be in their dream job. You have to love, or at least like, what you’re doing, but it isn’t always your dream or your true passion. Your purpose isn’t always in your career. It might be in your friends or family, your volunteering or hobby interests, or in your faith life. A job or career doesn’t define you. When you go deep within yourself to find what you are meant to do, you might be surprised with what you find. So don’t be too disappointed or worried about not knowing what major, career, or whatever aspect of your life is right for you because there are many parts of you. There are many sides to the life you lead, some deeper than others, and some more meaningful or important to others. One person might feel fulfilled through their job and another might work to pay the bills and feel fulfilled through their spouse and children. Another might find their passion through the church or through God. God doesn’t always make it obvious by throwing a sign at you or shouting an answer when you want it. You will know what you are meant for at the right time. 

Look inside and listen to God, you'll find what demands you to say "I must".

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